I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she smelled like a LAN party
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
