Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
