So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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