I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
