I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
