ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize