He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
