I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
