Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
