everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
