I wanna passion pit in your ass
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
