She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
