this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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