youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I am spending my child support on dildos
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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