covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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