Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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