I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize