In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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