My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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