just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
