He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
