she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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