I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
