Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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