Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize