Dual....:-)
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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