Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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