My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
