I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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