woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
