Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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