I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
