This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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