It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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