and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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