the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
