Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My life is pants optional.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
