I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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