he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
