I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
