Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
