I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
