I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
