So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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