So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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