We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
try to milk me bitch
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
