I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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