You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
