woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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