Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
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if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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