i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
