OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
vagina is talking i cant
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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