Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
