2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
