I wannas sexs uuuuu
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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