I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
