I'm going to jail i love you
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize