Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
