Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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