My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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