C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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