p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
